When I woke up Tuesday morning, it hurt worse, and this time it didn’t respond to the NSAID. As the day went on, the pain got worse, and the left side of my throat swelled until NovySan said, “You’d better go to the doctor tomorrow.”

And so I did. She found a big chunk of wax in that ear (it’s not the first time I’ve had to have wax flushed out of a sore ear, but it is the first time in more than 20 years), and enough inflammation to prescribe antibiotics, even though she thought the sore throat was viral.

Wednesday night, my temperature spiked, and I woke up in the middle of the night in so much pain I was shaking. More Aleve, an ice pack on the side of my head, and as soon as Kaiser opened, I emailed my doctor. “Keep taking the antibiotics,” she said, “and if it’s not better tomorrow, come back.”

Today it is better. It is so much better. The pain’s receded to a dull ache, the fever’s down to a degree that doesn’t make me feel floaty and half-unreal, my throat’s half the size it was yesterday, and if some of the swelling’s been replaced by an ugly white patch, I know that’ll be gone in a day or two.

I know this little episode will go down as “an illness to remember,” but at the end of it – I could just kiss Alexander Fleming on the top of his pointy little head.

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A couple of years ago, though, when Slackmistress started the Couch to 5K program as part of her Post-Apocalyptic Workout, I thought, “Maybe I could do that.” And I tried it, and sometimes it wasn’t too bad, but mostly my shins hurt and my knees complained and even when I got my boobs properly strapped in (with the help of an industrial-style sports bra that holds everything firmly in place, but also shapes it into a rocket-nose-cone that any 50s sweater girl would envy), I could feel my belly pudge jiggling and it freaked me out, so I mostly walked.

Then came the 2009 Tevis, which I crewed for my dad. Over the course of the weekend, I discovered that running on dirt didn’t hurt the way running on asphalt does, and I started doing the occasional run on the beach. It wasn’t until I started reading about barefoot running, though, that I realized why running on dirt was different. It wasn’t because it’s a softer surface – it’s because when I run on uneven ground, I don’t land on my heel. One pair of Vibram FiveFingers later, I was running more often, even on concrete, with much less discomfort. I even started getting used to the way things jiggle.

Last fall, NovySan and I started running every night – just a mile, and if I’m being honest, I have yet to run that whole mile. I’ve discovered it’s much easier for me to run fast than slow, but I can’t keep up the pace for a mile. So, I sprint, then I walk, then I sprint some more, and over time, I’m not only managing longer sprints, I’m also getting stronger, which helps me jog more comfortably as well.

I’ve had no knee pain in a long time – all those hours in the gym have definitely paid off in that respect. But the shins have had many, many things to say to me, all of them unpleasant. Google tells me that’s due to tight calf muscles, which I definitely have, so I’ve been stretching them and it’s been helping, but I obviously haven’t been stretching them enough, because Sunday night, half a block into my run, I felt as though someone had stabbed me in the calf with a hot knife.

It wasn’t a cramp. It was a strain, and thankfully a mild one. Five days later, it’s still sore, but I’ve been able to walk a bit and I went to KungYo Wednesday night without ill effect. Actually, the yoga helped a lot.

What makes me think I can call myself a runner now, though, despite not being very good at the actual running part, is that this is the first sports injury I’ve ever had, if I define a sports injury as an injury received as a result of physical activity, which makes it impossible or difficult to continue doing that activity until it heals. And my reaction to receiving said injury was an internal moan of, “But… but… This means I can’t run for at least a week! And what about KungYo? No, I’m going to KungYo, even if all I can do is sit on the sidelines and watch. I wonder how long I should wait before I get back on my bike, or the elliptical? Aw, man, I was really looking forward to BodyCombat, too!”

Come to think of it – maybe I’m not just a runner. Maybe I’m actually an athlete.

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There was a stack of particle board leaning against the wall in the office, and I needed to get to the outlet behind it. “I’ll just ease it out away from the wall,” I said to myself.

Have you ever tried doing that with a stack of wood? It gets heavier the farther it gets from vertical. I think the pull of gravity must be stronger, closer to the ground. (Yes, you guessed it. I never took physics.) Anyway, everything was fine until the boards reached about a 45-degree angle. Suddenly, I couldn’t hold them up any longer, and I couldn’t push them back toward the wall, either. So I dropped them on my leg.

NovySan was outside. “What did you do?” he asked.

“Dropped a stack of particle board on my leg. But I’m okay! Really!”

“Go get an icepack,” he said.

“No, no. I’m fine.”

“You have a show tomorrow,” he said. And I did. So I got an icepack. NovySan is very wise. And the bruise really wasn’t so bad – it didn’t affect the muscle at all.

I can’t say that for the one I picked up a few days later, when I sat on the corner of a metal filing cabinet at work.

Yeah. That shit hurt.

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I walked a little over two miles in these shoes today.

And now, I’m having a margarita for my feet.

Purely medicinal, you know.

Can’t help it being tasty, too.

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