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Don’t worry, I don’t intend to do it this evening.

I mean, I could, but I won’t.

I have, however, set a date. It’s only the second time I’ve done that, and the first time, I didn’t have my credit cards paid off.

This time, I do.

The countdown starts tonight.

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This year, I took up two Lenten disciplines – one was to give up booze (except on Sundays, which are feast days, and a few other narrow exceptions, like last Thursday, when NovySan took me to the Tiki Ti for the very first time.), and the other was to cut down the amount of time I spend at work, so I have more time for other things, like writing, dancing, starting my law practice, reading a few of the books stacking up in corners of my house… Y’know – the whole rest of my life. The only way to do that is to really, really focus on the work I’m doing, while I’m doing it, so I can get it done, get it out of the way, and move on to other things.

I’m not so good at that. I get bored, and I drift, and next thing I know I’m reading essays on Victorian Baby Farming and getting crap-all done. (I can justify it, though! Of course I can! I’m doing research! Those baby-farmers will will make a literary appearance, someday.)

I did it today, though. Powered through what needed to be powered through, and then realized that I had no idea what to do with myself. Not because I didn’t want to spend some time on the personal parts of my to-do list (and I did that), but because my usual timewasters weren’t exerting their normal appeal.

Maybe I’m getting better at this, after all.

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But I don’t think it’s come to that yet. (Note that I said “Yet.”)

I said earlier this week that I don’t like to blog about work, and that’s what’s consuming my mental energies right now, so if that was all I had to talk about today, you would indeed be watching an embedded video clip shot by someone who isn’t me. (How about embedded Hulu links? Are those any less cheesy than YouTube clips? No? That’s what I thought.) But as I sat up in here in the dimly-lit garret of NovySan’s office, waiting for him to get off work so we can go eat sushi with an opera singer, someone else started to sing.

Crickets.

They live in the walls.

And they’re calling out for love, sweet love.

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And now that I’m back on a full-sized keyboard (and have fixed the weird formatting in the above paragraph)… It’s been a roller-coaster day. Barack Obama will be the 44th President of the United States, and oh man, does that make me happy. But Prop 8′s passed, and so I’m angry and I’m disappointed and I have to remind myself that there are ways to fight that. (There’ve been three lawsuits filed already, and that makes me happy, because at first I thought, how do you challenge a constitutional amendment as unconstitutional? And now I have the answer. But it’s still up to the courts to decide whether they’ll accept the argument. And there’s another argument I’m wondering about, which is that if same-sex couples who married before the ban are still married, but no additional same-sex couples are allowed to marry, does that create a constitutional problem? And if those marriages are invalidated, does that violate the couples’ constitutional rights? I need to do some research on this…)

And even though I don’t write much about work (because I’m in an information-finding industry and I know any one of my co-workers is more than capable of tracking down my blog (especially since I haven’t made any effort to conceal my real name), and because I don’t want to be defined by what I do, and because if I feel like writing about work, it’s probably because I’m angry, and not everyone needs to hear me rant about it), it was a bad day today, and for all the reasons that make most of my bad days bad days. I was face-down on the kitchen table sobbing this afternoon, with my sweater pulled up over my head, and it wasn’t a pretty scene.

(I am looking for another job (something else I haven’t mentioned much, because I don’t want to panic anyone I work with), but it’s not a good time, and since I’m trying to transition back into the law, I have that additional “career switcher” hurdle to jump over, and sometimes it seems impossibly high.)

But NovySan’ll be home in a few minutes, and we’re going to The King’s Head for Guiness and ribs, and that makes it a good day, whatever happened this afternoon.

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